kanyedistressed:

i’m so glad that he exists

i fuckin hate the type of person who enters a room when a show is on and starts talking. what the fuck is wrong with you. who the fuck raised you. are you an animal. get out of my house

darkesthorizons:

neptuneisforlovers:

ITS NOT SEWING SUPPLIES!

My question is how does every single person identify with this, is it like a secret rule to use those for sewing supplies?

I’m going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like it’s all a dream, and pretend like it’s not hurting me.

cokeflow:

crystal meth is a pretty name

23pairsofchromosomes:

Butterfly eggs on a raspberry plantA micro-crack in steel

A micro-crack in steelHousehold dust

Household dustNeedle and thread

Needle and threadE.coli bacteria on lettuce

E.coli bacteria on lettuce

Beard hairs under a scanning electron microscope: cut with razor (left) and electric shaver (right)

Beard hairs under a scanning electron microscope: cut with razor (left) and electric shaver (right)A moth wing

A moth wingLeaf of a Virginia spiderwort

Leaf of a Virginia spiderwortMarijuana

Marijuanashark skin

Shark skin

epic-vines:

I’m Dead !
Vine by: Faith

petitedeath:

strikelikeahawk:

jessica-messica:

zagreussits:

How to wear a knife strapped to your thigh with a garter like a fucking lady while managing not to slice yourself open because you were fool enough to carry an unsheathed weapon next to a squishy part of your body that moves when you walk.

  1. Get a garter from somewhere; this one is a sock garter from Sock Dreams, which means it’s made to stay the fuck up there.
  2. Get a fucking sheath for those sharp, pointy things and put them in the sheath. There’ll be a velcro loop at the top so that they won’t slide out if you hold the sheath upside down.
  3. Put the garter through the loop at the top meant for whatever you’re using to attach it to yourself. Attach it to yourself, adjusting for ease of grabbing. You don’t want to put it on your inner thigh because that is awkward as hell to get out. The only way you’d be able to get it out in a timely manner is if you attached the sheath upside down, at which point you’d need two garters to keep the sheath from tilting inward toward your other thigh.
  4. Oh no, now the sheath is hanging loosely and is going to make a weird pattern against your clothing. Tuck that shit into your stockings if you’re wearing them, or use another garter if you’re not.
  5. Pull your pencil skirt back down over the knife sheath. Adjust accordingly due to tightness of skirt and shape of sheath. Make sure you can get at it as quick as you want.
  6. People look at you really strangely if this is the knife you pull out when you want to cut your apple up.

Vital Information for your Everyday Life.

Reblogging this so I remember to show it to my wife.

I used to do this in high school cause 2 days of the week we did internships and shit and i had to bus alone to downtown seattle and there always creeps. I recommend listening to this.

primacdonaldsgirl:

pretending to study in front of ur parents like 

image

leftists:

In fifth grade we were making little clay statues and mine came out shitty so I left a big air pocket in it so it would explode when the teacher put it in the kiln and it exploded so hard it destroyed ten other kids’s statues and they were all on the verge of tears I thought it was really funny I still do

k1mkardashian:

aaliyahsashes:

Youtube music awards? seriously? what’s next? Instagram’s next top model?

DON’T GIVE TYRA ANY IDEAS 

gingerandfair:

thesoundofmyotpgettingmarried:

Glee Crack Vol.6

OMG this one is hilarious!!!!

(Source)

These are always good

Oh god the ending. Priceless.

THM.